fallen apart. I’ve been living day to day for my daughter, never really
focusing on myself.The day that I
walked into that room and saw Kali was the day my life changed. She completely
tipped my world upside down and I’m just not sure if my heart can take it.
She was unexpected
and it scared the living daylights out of me.
I thought I had
gotten out.I was wrong.
When he came for me
i thought my life was over. I never considered him coming back would change my
life forever. I never dreamed what he did to me would lead me towards a man who
would cherish and love me for me.
When you think your
life is over and you don’t see a future, all you can do is live day by day,
only to hope that one day the unexpected will come and make it all right.
push forward after their pasts have consumed them for so long?
Or will the unexpected
be too much for them to bare?
Will they get their
forever. Our little girl was making her entrance into the world. Rushing into
the hospital with Jana by my side, both of us can’t stop smiling, knowing this
deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. “My wife is in labor, we need some help.”
I grab the first nurse I see.
me grab a wheelchair and I’ll take you right on up.” She says, smiling sweetly
at the two of us.
comes in, “Let’s check and see how many centimeters you’re dilated, Jana.”
his way back over to Jana after putting on his gloves.
calm my nerves. After everything that we have been through trying to conceive,
I don’t know if I can handle any bad news right now.
ready to make her entrance into the world. Jana, are you ready to push?”
sound, and I know she’s more than ready.
I see that Jana is getting tired and something just doesn’t feel right to me.
Nothing seems to be helping her through the pain. When she looks up at me her
face is heartbreaking, my wife’s in pain and there isn’t a damn thing I can do
to help her.
baby girl.” Trying to calm her nerves and help her through this any way I can.
her hand and encourage her over and over, when all of a sudden Jana pushes down
hard one last time and we hear the most beautiful sound in the world. Our baby
and I can’t stop looking at my beautiful girl. She’s the most precious thing I’ve
ever seen. The nurse asks me if I want to cut the umbilical cord and I jump at
expel the placenta. That’s when I hear it. The most horrifying sound, almost
like a blood quenching scream, and I’ll never forget it.
announcing that she’s hemorrhaging. It seems like forever as I observe them
attaching emergency medical equipment to my wife. Then they finally take Jana to
the operating room, leaving me alone with our precious little girl.
joy is lying right in front of me, but my heart is shattering and ripping out
of my chest for my wife.
at how beautiful she is. Time seems to be going at a snail’s pace waiting for
answers regarding my wife before the doctor finally comes back in.
thoughts and I glance up at Dr. Steele. He swallowed what had to be a lump in
his throat. “I’m so sorry. We did everything in our power to stop the
hemorrhaging, but there wasn’t anything we could do. She lost too much blood.
We lost her, Hunter.”
to the nurse again. I lose it. I hit my knees and completely break down, crying
on the hospital floor. There is talking around me, but do to the roaring in my
ear I can’t hear anything that’s actually being said.
am I supposed to go on without Jana? She’s my life.
We were so excited to be having Alyssa. I just don’t understand. We were high
school sweethearts. We got married right after college and had been trying to
conceive for almost five years before we found out we were pregnant. We wanted
a child for so long. Jana and I knew that having a child was a big
responsibility. We were determined to raise a wonderful child, or at least
figure out how to be the best parents in the world. Now, it seems the dream is
shattered. I can’t lose Jane. She’s my wife.
maybe the doctor was wrong and, she was coming back to us.
you may have lost Jana, but you have to focus on Alyssa now. Is there anyone I
can call to come down here?”
goodness my brother and his girlfriend come in. They both rush to me.
can feel Heath’s arms go around my hugging me tight.
Photography by MHPhotography